In the past 24 hours I have done the following:
Cried.
Replied to your emails.
Cried.
Read all your comments at least twice.
Cried.
Avoided posts from pregnant bloggers.
Cried.
Scheduled a botox treatment before the vacation.
Cried.
Confirmed our flight reservations.
Cried.
Half-heartedly attempted to work.
Cried.
Drank a red beer.
Cried.
Deleted my drafted post on the difference between a "Normal Woman" who was newly pregnant and myself.
Cried.
Threw away the half dozen positive HPTs.
Cried.
Restocked my feminine products.
Cried.
Battled another case of hives.
Cried.
Had our names added to the Donor Egg Program list at our clinic.
Cried.
Hugged and kissed my son a hundred times.
Cried.
We are crying along with you, DD. No one should have to go through what you are right now.
Hugs to you from CA. Hold your son and hubby tight tonight.
Posted by: hopefulmother | June 06, 2007 at 05:55 PM
I didn't post a comment previously because I just couldn't think of anything useful to say.
Still nothing useful... how about enjoy the vacation? You're stronger than you think.. and deserve only the best. happy upcoming birthday :-)
Posted by: irshlas | June 06, 2007 at 06:34 PM
Cry your little heart out! It does help. I am so so so sorry. I know you don't want to hear, "I am so sorry" but I truly am.
I am drinking wine in your honor tonight.
Posted by: Sunny | June 06, 2007 at 07:00 PM
I've got nothin' to say that would make a difference. Just know that I'm thinking of you.
Posted by: Leggy | June 06, 2007 at 07:37 PM
Oh my God DD.
There's nothing I can say to make you feel better honey, I know that. Please know that I understand.
E-mail me if you'd like, even if you just want to scream at someone.
My love to you DD, my love and my thoughts and a great big Fuck you to whoever decided this was what was to happen in your life...
Posted by: Diana | June 06, 2007 at 08:33 PM
I'm hoping all goes well with the Donor Egg Program. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, but I know... first things first. You're in my thoughts during your grieving.
Posted by: Anna | June 06, 2007 at 09:00 PM
Damn it. I wish I could give away an egg and make it all better. Why does it have to be so hard? Do you have the Dixie Chicks album from last summer? Maybe singing a few of those songs would help, at least on of them is about this kind of situation, it's called "so hard".
love ya
Posted by: Lala | June 06, 2007 at 09:12 PM
Oh DD. My heart is broken for you. xxxxxx
Posted by: Meg | June 06, 2007 at 10:19 PM
I wish I could do something to help, but I know too well nothing will right now. Sending hugs any way...
Posted by: K&M | June 07, 2007 at 02:36 AM
Sweety. Oh no, I am so so sad for you right now. There is nothing I could say right now, but I am thinking of you, know that.
You are such a strong woman, don't forget that. Hug Mr DD and X and be sad for what you are loosing/have lost. You need to greif in order to being able to move on with the Donor Eggs.
Lot's of love from my little corner.
Posted by: Nina | June 07, 2007 at 05:09 AM
We will get our babies eventually, one way or another. It doesn't make anything easier right now and each decision gets harder as time goes by. But we will get there.
Posted by: Feebee | June 07, 2007 at 05:19 AM
Crying with you babe....
Pass the beer xxx
Posted by: Patience | June 07, 2007 at 05:49 AM
I'm so sorry, DD. So sorry.
Posted by: Suz | June 07, 2007 at 06:26 AM
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Posted by: Artblog | June 07, 2007 at 06:37 AM
D, please take care of yourself. I'm so glad you've got this time to get away. I'll be thinking of you and sending thoughts for a peaceful, restful vacation.
Posted by: TB | June 07, 2007 at 06:44 AM
You are such a productive sort. All those chores as well as crying are good things. You have such a good head on your shoulders, you will get through this. I hope your vacation is restful and renewing as you begin on a different path.
Posted by: Cricket | June 07, 2007 at 07:13 AM
I don't want to keep typing sorry.
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuckness
The Botox sounds good.
Posted by: Aurelia | June 07, 2007 at 07:29 AM
I wish I could be there to give you a hug in person.
Posted by: Catherine | June 07, 2007 at 07:31 AM
What everyone else said. (I originally typed "What everyone else sad." Freudian slip much?)
I'm so sorry.
Posted by: niobe | June 07, 2007 at 08:14 AM
XOXOXXXXOOO
Posted by: Tuesday | June 07, 2007 at 09:08 AM
I'm so sorry, DD. I've been thinking of you. ((HUGS))
Posted by: LawyerMama | June 07, 2007 at 09:24 AM
Crying a lot sounds about right to me. So sorry, DD, so Sorry.
Posted by: kati | June 07, 2007 at 09:50 AM
*hug*
Posted by: serenity | June 07, 2007 at 09:55 AM
Still thinking of you...
Posted by: Alexa | June 07, 2007 at 10:49 AM
I'd offer to let you come punch me if it would help...but...I'm afraid you'd take me up on the offer. Want to come out for margaritas sometime instead?
Posted by: Tracy | June 07, 2007 at 12:06 PM
I so wish I could do more than just tell you how much I'm thinking of you and how much I hate all of this. I hope your vacation provides some relief and relaxation.
Posted by: millie | June 07, 2007 at 12:09 PM
Oh hon, cry all you need. This shit just.sucks.ass.
Posted by: Catizhere | June 07, 2007 at 12:55 PM
I don't even know what to say except I'm Sorry. So so so sorry.
It really is terribly unfair.
Posted by: ewe_are_here | June 07, 2007 at 04:40 PM
Me too, three, four. I am so sorry DD, I had such high hopes given Mr. DD's results this time, as I'm sure you did. I'm glad you have him and X to hug. I wish I could be there to hug you too.
Posted by: Nico | June 07, 2007 at 06:51 PM
I am so very sorry for your loss DD. *Hug*
Posted by: Mary Ellen | June 12, 2007 at 10:02 AM
DD, I am SO incredibly sorry that I haven't really been able to keep up with my blogging correspondence and I have just now had a moment to read my blogroll. I feel horrible and selfish for not coming here sooner and trying to be of some support. Whatever solace I can offer, I am here. I know that my blog may be hard to visit right now, and that's okay. We can chat via e-mail if you want. Many huge hugs for you.
Posted by: Crystal | June 13, 2007 at 07:22 PM